Wednesday, July 20, 2011

What's Your Name Again?

Oh, look, there she is . . . that cute girl you have been introduced to 12 times . . . whose name you STILL can't remember. Worse, you're standing there talking to a friend, only seconds away from the harrowing moment when they gaze at you expectantly, waiting for you to introduce them.  You begin to sweat as your mind races: WHAT is her NAME? What is MY name? Dear God, is this what having a stroke feels like?? 

Some people recommend using mnemonic devices (Kim cleavage!  Jenn jean-skirt!  Larry lazy-eye!) but if you're having this problem, it's already too late.

You could discreetly sidle up to your host and ask for a reminder, or take the self-effacing route of saying, "Geez, I am SO bad with names, what's yours again?" - but your panic attack tells me either the host is in the other room, or you are tired of being known as That Guy With the Early Onset Dementia. What to do?

Option A: Whip out your wallet

"Ok you guys, I think we should place bets on who has the most awful license photo. I'll be the judge! Hand 'em over."

Option B: Propose a drinking game

"Oh hey, you're just in time. Guys, guys, drinking game. How many famous people can you think of with your first name? First one to get stuck has to chug this. I'll go first: Boris Yeltsin."

Option C: Neutralize your opponent

Painfully cute girl: "Oh hey, guys, how's it going?"
You, simultaneously: "guyshowsitgoing JINX!"

Not only do you not have to remember her name, you would be a fool to utter it even if you did. No jinxer worth his salt would unjinx his jinxed just like that! You, my friend, just bought yourself some time, and suddenly, remembering her name is everyone's problem but yours.


  1. What if you can't remember your own name?

  2. Nevernind. It just popped up with my comment. *Sigh of relief*