Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Throw Down: Seven Ages of Man

The littlest bashionista
 Hello, nerds! Shakespeare just gave me a great idea for a party. As he opines that all the world is a stage, he breaks down the life of man (and woman) into seven ages. Well, if the world is a stage, then each of these ages will make for a great costume opportunity.

The Bard breaks it down thusly: Infant, schoolboy, lover, soldier, justice (umm, ok), pantaloon (what the heck is a pantaloon??), and second childhood.

Here's a more modern spin on it: Babies. Kids. Teens. Yuppies. Moms & dads. Mid-life crises. Dirty old men and sassy old broads. Invite your friends to show up dressed as the most ridiculous time of life they can think of. You handle the rest.

Click here for a Seven Ages playlist. And join us on Tuesday for a Seven Ages photo gallery - as you assemble your all-ages buffet, consider framing a little picture to go with each dish (check your local dollar store for frames - you might get lucky and hit the mother lode). I'll also list some movies you might consider screening silently. No party is going to be seven movies long - but if you have a second tv, you could set up another screening area.

Eats & drinks: a bowl of ring pops (for the pacifier effect) and (an empty and thoroughly cleaned) carton of milk for a centerpiece.
Big house: Have a front porch? Cover it with blankets and treat it like a giant playpen. Bonus if you can score a musical mobile and giant stuffed animals.
Small house: lay out your softest blanket and some stuffed animals in a corner of the room.
Movie: Baby Einstein: Baby Beethoven

Eats & drinks: Take your pick of favorite kid foods. Hostess cakes? Pb&J with the crusts cut off? A bowl of your favorite candy? Pair it with a bowl of juice boxes on ice.
Big House: Have a room you can transform into a playroom? Go crazy. Set out a bunch of kid games. Track down a refrigerator box. Build a tent fort.
Small House: Set out a display of your favorite childhood items.
Movie: Toy Story 3

Eats & drinks: Have some pizzas delivered and pair them with good old-fashioned sodie pop.
Big House: This may be your very last chance to play five-minutes-in -the-closet - if you've got the storage space, you have my blessing.
Small House: Consider a midnight session of truth-or-dare or spin-the-bottle.
Movie: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Eats & drinks: Consider a fancy cheese platter and some red wine. Or a tray of nice appetizers and champagne.
Big house: Dedicate one room to a dance party
Small house: The party music will be your biggest nod to the young folks. Keep it rockin'!
Movie: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Moms & Dads
Eats & drinks: Serve something healthy - like vegetables & dip - or something that'll feed a crowd - like a casserole. Then set up an instant coffee station.
Big house: Create a den where people can lounge around and kick their feet up in front of the tv.
Small house: Set your computer up with an automatic slide show of cute kid pictures.
Movie: The Kids Are All Right

Mid-Life Crises
Eats & drinks: Drown your sorrows in bonbons and martinis, beer nuts and bourbon.
Big house: Set up a bar area complete with stools for all the barflies.
Small house: Decorate behind the bar with pictures of your favorite obselete celebrities.
Movie: Another Year

Dirty Old Men & Sassy Old Broads
Eats & drinks: Set out a container of prunes (not that you'll be getting any takers) and set up a tea service.
Big house: I would kill for a shuffleboard court.
Small house: Set up some table space for Mexican train dominoes.
Movie: Driving Miss Daisy


  1. I like that you have a picture of Brian and Eleza next to your Yuppies section. HA!

  2. Also...awesome idea for a party. I want in! (Still a teenager in my mind)

  3. Heh. I know! I asked Eleza if it was ok that I yuppified her. As I said, I'm using that term for everyone between teenagehood and parenthood. And they *are* Young Urban Professionals . . . without the negative connotations.

  4. And yes, you or I should host this party. I think the costumes would be pretty twisted!

  5. Oh, I meant I want in--to coming to this party.

  6. Yeah, I've got to make it happen!